Category Archive for "Strategy"

From good boundaries to GREAT boundaries

I wrote earlier about what to do when kids put up a big loud boundary, when they stonewall you, and what you can do to soften things up.  That will get you creating safety, so the wall can come down,…

What to do when your kids won’t talk with you

Some of you have told me stories about your child refusing to talk about sex.  Hands over ears, fleeing the room, slamming the door.   I’ve been asked, “What should I do when my child flat out refuse to talk?”…

Are you inadvertently shutting down conversations with your kids?

Sometimes we’re so excited to have an opportunity to talk, that we overdo it.  Does that happen to you?   Maybe you find yourself in lecture mode, or maybe your child starts to engage on a topic and then wilts. …

What drives teens to get more aggressive about sex

  By the time our kids are teens, they’ve learned what sex is and they’ve absorbed the myth that everyone is having sex, and having great sex, too.   Teens think of sex like they think of skateboarding: if my…

How teens mess up with sex (and what you can do to prevent it)

Yesterday I was on the phone with a mom whose story just made my heart ache.   Her parents had not educated her about sex at all, so she learned about it from friends and school.  When she started having…

Teaching kids to respect themselves and their partners

When I get on the phone with parents, we often talk about how to teach healthy boundaries.   That’s not what they thought they were calling me to talk about.  They thought it was how to explain to their child…

How to have “the talk”

Some parents don’t prepare in any way for having “the talk” with their kids.  They get surprised by a question, feel obligated to answer in that moment, and don’t have any resources to help their child understand what they’re saying. …

Swear words and kids

Have you ever noticed how many of our swear words have to do with sex and private parts?   Most of us use swear words rarely, reserving them for moments when we really need to get someone’s attention.  Since it’s…

Parenting to Prevent Sexual Assault

I watched an amazing TED talk last night, Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger’s story of rape and reconciliation.   It’s breathtakingly bold for this rape survivor and her rapist share the stage, telling the story of their brief relationship as…

A simple strategy to improve communication with your kid

When you child is asking questions about sex and relationships, you have to carefully consider how to answer, but at least the conversation has started.   What about when your child isn’t asking questions?   There are lots of moments…