Parent Resources, Safety Conversations, & Understanding Kid Culture

Setting sexual expectations

The Buddha taught that the source of all suffering is attachment, and in this case, I’m talking about attachment to how you expect things to be.  There’s two parts to this: being open to reality ourselves and setting realistic expectations...
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From good boundaries to GREAT boundaries

I wrote earlier about what to do when kids put up a big loud boundary, when they stonewall you, and what you can do to soften things up.  That will get you creating safety, so the wall can come down,...
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What to do when your kids won’t talk with you

Some of you have told me stories about your child refusing to talk about sex.  Hands over ears, fleeing the room, slamming the door.   I’ve been asked, “What should I do when my child flat out refuse to talk?”...
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How did you learn not to talk about sex?

I bet no one told you directly that sex was a hush-hush topic.  It turns out that no one needs to.  We are so observant of other people that we notice what others do and don’t do, the inflection in...
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Are you inadvertently shutting down conversations with your kids?

Sometimes we’re so excited to have an opportunity to talk, that we overdo it.  Does that happen to you?   Maybe you find yourself in lecture mode, or maybe your child starts to engage on a topic and then wilts. ...
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Standing up to sexual pressure

Let me get reallllly personal for a moment, because this has happened to me.   My high-school sweetheart followed me across the country to college.  We were together for 9 years.  This happened 3 years after college, when we were...
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What drives teens to get more aggressive about sex

  By the time our kids are teens, they’ve learned what sex is and they’ve absorbed the myth that everyone is having sex, and having great sex, too.   Teens think of sex like they think of skateboarding: if my...
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How teens mess up with sex (and what you can do to prevent it)

Yesterday I was on the phone with a mom whose story just made my heart ache.   Her parents had not educated her about sex at all, so she learned about it from friends and school.  When she started having...
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Protect your child from porn

Ugh.  Your sweet innocent babe has been exposed to porn, and is now asking you about it.  Or maybe they’re not saying anything – is that worse?  Or maybe your child is totally accessing porn, on purpose.   How can...
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