Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life

by Emily Nagoski Ph. D.

The first lesson in this essential, transformative book by Dr. Emily Nagoski is that every woman has her own unique sexuality, like a fingerprint, and that women vary more than men in our anatomy, our sexual response mechanisms, and the way our bodies respond to the sexual world. So we never need to judge ourselves based on others’ experiences. Because women vary, and that’s normal.

My biggest takeaways was a helpful analogy for arousal, talking about the brakes and accelerators and the super important concept of arousal non-concordance.

Pussy: A Reclamation

by Regena Thomashauer

This book is fun.  It’s a delight to read, and the content is just what I most wanted to learn: what no one taught me about the source of my feminine power and how to use it. This power is the part of a woman that we has been taught to ignore, push down, and despise. Like any expletive used effectively, the title of this book is meant to be a wake-up call. It is a reclamation, in a world that desperately requires the feminine. Readers learn the secret ingredient every woman is missing; how to crack the confidence code; why sex appeal is an inside job; what’s ahead on the next frontier of feminism—and how they can help make it happen; and much more. By turns earthy and erudite, passionately argued and laugh-out-loud funny, Pussy delivers the tools and practices a woman requires to do and be whatever she wants in this life. It’s a call for her to tune in, turn on, and not drop out—but live more richly, fully, and lusciously..

Sex Rules!: Astonishing Sexual Practices and Gender Roles Around the World

by Janice Zarro Brodman

Ever feel like you’ve lived in a bubble?  What is a society without patriarchy like?  What about one with more than 2 genders?  This book is a humorous glimpse of a wide range of stereotype-busting sexual, relationship and romantic mores around the world. It is fun, interesting, and eye-opening! The fact that it’s all true also makes it fascinating.  At the same time, it proves sex is like happiness – universally sought but subjectively enjoyed.

embody: Learning to Love Your Unique Body (and quiet that critical voice!)

by Connie Sobczak

This book’s message is rooted in the belief that people inherently possess the wisdom necessary to make healthy choices and live in balance. It emphasizes that self-love, acceptance of genetic diversity in body size, celebration of the unique beauty of every individual, and intuitive self-care are fundamental to achieving good physical and emotional health.

Embody guides readers step by step through five core competencies.  Anyone can practice these fundamental skills on a daily basis to honor their innate wisdom and take good care of their whole selves, and research indicates that this work significantly improves people’s ability to regulate eating, decreases depression and anxiety, and increases self-esteem.

The Elephant in the Gym: Your Body-Positive Guide to Writing Your Own Health and Fitness Story

by Gillian Goerzen

In The Elephant in the Gym, Personal Trainer and Health Coach Gillian Goerzen gives you a healthy and kind way to approach your fitness and well-being. Grounded in science, self-compassion and Goerzen’s personal journey through the ‘body hatred battleground,’ you’ll learn to ditch the diet, reclaim an empowered relationship with your body, and become healthier as a result.

Learn why no gym membership is required to be fit; why traditional goal-setting is tripping you up; what you can do to get started today.  This book is beautifully written and packed with practical strategies, tools and tips to help you be fit and healthy – for life!

Hearts & Minds: Talking to Christians About Homosexuality: 2nd Edition

by Darren Main

If you have ever tried to talk to your Christian friends and family about LGBTQ issues only to have it end in a heated debate, you are not alone. But there is hope! Thousands have used the tools in this book to heal relationships that once seemed broken beyond repair, and you can too.

Filled with humor and inspirational essays, this meticulously researched book will help you talk with Christians in a way that invites mutual respect and understanding. Only through meaningful and heartfelt discussions can hearts and minds change.

4 Seasons in 4 Weeks: Awakening the Power, Wisdom, and Beauty in Every Woman’s Nature

by Suzanne Mathis McQueen

Using the sun seasons, moon phases, and archetypes to reach deeply into the vulnerable depths of the repeating female monthly experience, 4 Seasons in 4 Weeks(4s4w) is a non-technical and symbolic journey through the 28 days of the female hormonal rhythm, revealing a logical and predictable blueprint that is easy for anyone to understand.

By tapping into this primordial compass and forgotten ancient wisdom, each woman, whether cycling or not, is given the power to find home in her rhythmic essence, navigating her physical energy, well-rounded viewpoint, and sexuality by taking charge of her survival as well as advantage of optimal times to connect, create, exercise, seduce, rest, lead, and observe. When men learn the 4s4w approach, it takes the mystery and the guess work out when initiating sex or other forms of communication.

A General Theory of Love

by Thomas Lewis

A General Theory of Love demonstrates that our nervous systems are not self-contained: from earliest childhood, our brains actually link with those of the people close to us, in a silent rhythm that alters the very structure of our brains, establishes life-long emotional patterns, and makes us, in large part, who we are. Explaining how relationships function, how parents shape their child’s developing self, how psychotherapy really works, and how our society dangerously flouts essential emotional laws, this is a work of rare passion and eloquence that will forever change the way you think about human intimacy.

Love and Limerence

by Dorothy Tennoy

It is shocking that this book was written 50 years ago, and yet it’s findings are absent from the mainstream.  Tennov undertakes a thorough investigation of what it means to be “in love” and finds that there are two distinct populations who have been talking past each other: those who experience limerence and those who do not.  Whichever category you belong to, this book will help you understand the other, whether that is your partner, your friend, or your child.  This fascinating read will give you an understanding of the other side of being in love.

Living with limerence

by Dr. L.

This excellent little book is a guide for adults, especially those experiencing limerence while married.  Written by a neuroscientist seeking to understand his own experience of limerence (for someone other than his spouse), this quick guide explains what limerence is, why it happens, and how to cope with it.

Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape

by Peggy Orenstien

Learn what this generation of girls faces in high-school and college as they try to navigate their sexual relationships.  This is an eye-opening book and a must-read!  Simply warning girls what not to do is not enough!  Read about their challenges so you can better understand how to teach your child to swim in these waters.

Talking To Your Kids About Sex: from toddlers to preteens

by Lauri Berkenkamp and Steven C Atkins, Psy.D.

A simple and fun guide covering all the basics.  This guide tells you what to talk about and when, and it also has sample question and answer scripts to get you over some of the major hurdles.

But how’d I get in there in the first place? talking to your young child about sex

by Deborah M Roffman

An excellent book addressing the young child’s understanding of the world and how we can tailor our explanations to their development.

NOT ME! How to PREPARE for Dangerous Encounters

by Al Horner

With the rates of sexual assault as they are, this is an important and helpful book.  It gives concrete advice about what we can do to prevent an assault and also strategies to thwart one in process.

Moon Mother, Moon Daughter

by Janet Lucy

With the moon as a guide and a symbol, Moon Mother, Moon Daughter introduces a whole new approach to the coming of age years, a time to strengthen the mother-daughter connection with the support of community, and celebrate female gifts and wisdom. Moon Mother, Moon Daughter is a practical and concrete guide rooted in ancient traditions and timeless wisdom. Each of the 12 chapters uses a goddess myth as its basis. The myth is followed by an exploration of the key coming of age concepts and divine feminine qualities (ie. intuition, creativity, dreaming) found within the myth, activities and suggestions for mothers and daughters, and a list of further reading and resources.

Schoolgirls: Young Women, Self Esteem, and the Confidence Gap

by Peggy Orenstein

For this intimate, girls’ eye view of the world, Orenstein spent months observing and interviewing eighth-graders from two ethnically disparate communities, seeking to discover what was causing girls to fall into traditional patterns of self-censorship and self-doubt. By taking us into the lives of real young women who are struggling with eating disorders, sexual harrassment, and declining academic achievement, Orenstein brings the disturbing statistics to life with the skill and flair of an experienced journalist. Uncovering the adolescent roots of issues that remain important to American women throughout their lives, this groundbreaking book challenges us to change the way we raise and educate girls.

Reset Your Child’s Brain: A Four-Week Plan to End Meltdowns, Raise Grades, and Boost Social Skills by Reversing the Effects of Electronic Screen-Time Paperback 

by Victoria L. Dunckley

Increasing numbers of parents grapple with children who are acting out without obvious reason. Revved up and irritable, many of these children are diagnosed with ADHD, bipolar illness, autism, or other disorders but don’t respond well to treatment. They are then medicated, often with poor results and unwanted side effects. Based on emerging scientific research and extensive clinical experience, integrative child psychiatrist Dr. Victoria Dunckley has pioneered a four-week program to treat the frequent underlying cause, Electronic Screen Syndrome (ESS).

iRules: What Every Tech-Healthy Family Needs To Know About Selfies, Sexting, Gaming, and Growing Up

by Janell Burley Hofmann

I was honored to interview Janell for The Talking To Kids About Sex Interview Series, and her book is a must-read.  These are simple and thoughtful guidelines for extending your every-day parenting practice into the online realm.

i-Minds: How Cell Phones, Computers, Gaming, and Social Media Are Changing Our Brains, Our Behavior, and the Evolution of Our Species

by Mari K. Swingle

I recommend this book to parents and those who serve parents all the time!  i-Minds explains the science behind technology addiction.  This book has informed my thinking on what kids need in terms of social-emotional skill building as well as the kind of structure they need around sexting and pornography.